Bruce can suck it!

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I just watched a Keeping up with the Kardashians episode. Not something I usually watch, but it was about Bruce’s transition and honestly…I was curious.

So, you might be wondering why I say Bruce can suck it. Is it because I don’t like transgender people? No. Is it because I don’t agree with his lifestyle? That isn’t for me to judge. The reason I say Bruce Jenner can suck it, is because he committed fraud against every woman that ever fell in love with him. They thought they were getting a husband, a partner….not a lady friend.

Kris Jenner is not a typical sympathizing figure. People run her down the rails for all sorts of things, but in this instance, she is the injured party. She thought she fell in love with a man, she thought that they were going to spend their lives together, grow old together. She was cheated out of 20 years of HER life. She has to mourn a marriage that she thought was going to last the rest of her life. She has to be “supportive” that her husband decided that he would rather wear her shoes and pee sitting down. That is a lot for any woman to accept. I would bet my last dollar that she feels betrayed on such a deep level that once all her “acceptance” wears off, she will be FURIOUS at having gave 20 years of her life to someone that was only biding their time until they could live the life they wanted.

There will be those that say, no one should have to live a lie. AGREED! No one should have to live a lie, and no one should have to be married to someone living a lie. Times are changing and people can come out now, in ways that are unprecedented. I get it. In 1980, society wasn’t as accepting. Transgender, homosexuality, lesbianism wasn’t talked about, or accepted. People felt that they had to hide. However, that doesn’t mean you get a free pass for all the people you hurt.

Bruce’s children will love him, as children do. Listening to them talk about how they kept his “secret” for over a decade after catching him dressed as a woman, how they feared that he was having an affair when they found lipstick, how they never told, because they wanted their family to stay intact. Do you think that was FAIR to any of them? The guilt and burden that CHILDREN carried for him to live his lie…and now, he comes out and expects them all the jump on board the transgender train. Khloe was angry, because she had, and was still being lied to. Guess what, I’d be fucking angry too. You lived a lie, and forced all of them to live it too.

Do I think Bruce has a right to live as a woman, and be happy? Of course I do. However, he needs to give heartfelt apologies…not for wanting to be who he feels he is, but for the lies, the secrets and the pain he’s caused. I don’t think there would ever be enough apologies to make up to Kris, or his other wives for what he did to them. A marriage is about trust, love, communication, respect. How about before marrying, you sit down with your spouse to be and tell them that you have gender identity issues. Lay it out on the table, as awkward and uncomfortable as it may be….then let them decide if they want to move on with you or without you. They should have been given that option.

Maybe you agree with me or maybe you don’t….but, you have to realizes that no one lives their life in a bubble. Your actions always affect others. So make sure that if you are gay, lesbian, transgender that you are honest with the people that love you. They truly want what’s best for you, and for you to be happy, but that caring is a two way street.

Australian Gold SPF 30 Sunscreen

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They hit it out of the ballpark with this one! Omg, it smells so good, but I have no idea what it smells like…maybe some exotic Australian flower (I’ve never been to Australia, so I’m assuming here.) Anyhow, besides the scent, it is non greasy, dries to a matte finish and has a decent SPF of 30, which is great for daily exposure. If you were going to the beach, I’d choose a higher SPF. This is a chemical sunscreen, just be aware of that. I don’t use it on my face, only my body and it works great. Lovely product!

*I received this product free to review, but this is my honest opinion….really! :)

NYC New York Color City Proof 24 Hr Eye Shadow Review

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I received this from Influenster to review and when I first saw the big chubby pencil, I thought the color Brooklyn Mocha was beautiful. Plus, I admit going into summer, I was really happy about the whole waterproof thing. Well, honestly, this was a hit and a miss for me.

Brooklyn Mocha would look good on any eye color. It’s a lovely nude shade, with a satin finish. However, it applies VERY sheer (which may be what you want for summer), and even after multiple layers, the color doesn’t build up. It blends easily, but almost too easily, it will blend away to almost nothing. As for the waterproof claim, I haven’t wore it in the shower or pool yet, so I can’t say. The pictures below, show it on it’s own on my primed eyelid.

As a stand alone product, I really don’t like this. However, as a base for shadow, it’s perfect. It is tacky enough to grab onto powder shadow, the color is a perfect nude, so it looks great under a darker shadow or a lighter one. It works really well as base, and honestly, I will probably buy a few more just to use in this capacity.
#NewYorkCityProof http://www.Influenster.com #BlossomVoxBox
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Influenster and the BlossomVoxBox

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I recently signed up with Influenster (influenster.com) and I received a packed full #BlossomVoxBox full of fun stuff to review. My box has food in it! BEANiTOS Chips in Original Sea Salt and Chipotle BBQ (I’ve ate both, reviews to come soon!) My box also had Nasoya Pasta Zero Noodles, Hair Food Root Cleansing Shampoo, Bear Naked Granola, NYC New York Color City Proof 24 Hr Eye Shadow, Australian Gold SPF 30 Sunscreen, and Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs. Now, the fun begins…trying all of it! :)

I am going to add my first review now, because…why wait?! BEANiTOS Chips are so good! They are crunchy, crispy, and so full of flavor that there is no need for dip! However, since I had some left over homemade guacamole, I thought I’d give it a try with them and I have found my new favorite snack! The chips are No GMO, all natural, gluten free, vegan, high fiber, cholesterol free, and low glycemic index. With that impressive line up, you’d think they’d taste like cardboard, but they were really…really….REALLY good! My favorite was the Original with Sea Salt, but the Chipotle BBQ was good too, zingy without being too spicy. So, thanks to BEANiTOS for letting me broaden my chip horizon and try something new! I love them :)

The war on women.

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So, there is supposedly a war on women because we have to pay for birth control and don’t make as much as men. That sucks for us, but that isn’t the war on women that I see…

I see a war on women in rape cultures, where the raped woman is always wrong and has somehow enticed the rapist. In India a woman and her boyfriend were attacked on public transit, he was brutally beaten and she was literally gang raped to death. At one point they pulled her intestines out of her rectum and then they were thrown alongside the road. That was on PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. The sex trade, where children and women are enslaved and raped, they are without hope or choice. Or girls that are raped, then accused of fornication and beaten, or killed as a way of their families keeping their “honor”. Let me be the first to tell you there is no HONOR is accusing a victim, or further abusing them. Rape is the most vile, disgusting act of cowardice…it requires a man to become nothing but an animal that preys upon the weak. Someone that can’t get sex through consent then takes it without consent.

I see a war on women in domestic violence. Men that feel because of their status, money, or ability to run with a ball that they are somehow entitled to slap, bunch, or beat a woman. The culture that believes that women are “bitches and hoes” and that it is perfectly acceptable to use physical violence against someone you profess to love. There is no excuse for a man to hit a woman..EVER. We are no match for you physically, our bone structure is thinner, our muscles smaller…we can not defend ourselves against an enraged man intent on doing us harm. Again, cowardice and a sense of entitlement is at the core…a feeling that she somehow deserved it for displeasing him. A man that hits a woman is NOT a man.

I see a war on women in kidnappings. I see it in genital mutilations. I see a war on women in abuse, humiliation, and violence. So, how do we stop this?

Men must stand up and be men. Don’t accept abuse of women as part of a culture, or lifestyle. Don’t condone a lack of respect by listening to music that promotes it. Don’t be apathetic when you hear another man call a woman a bitch, or commit any act of violence against her…speak up, stop it. You are men for a reason and it’s not to abuse women, it is to protect us. If men stop condoning or ignoring this behavior in other men, if there voices ring strong and true that this is NOT okay, the men among you that are abusive cowards will listen.

The brutality of the world we live in will only change if we all take steps to change it. The beheadings of innocents, the war on Christianity, the war on women, the perpetuation of all acts of violence will never stop as long as no one takes a stand. It will never stop as long as people will stand around and videotape a man beating a woman instead of intervening, which can be as simple as calling 911. We have become a world of people that expects someone else to do something, YOU do something. If we all speak up, if we all take a stand, if we all say no more, then maybe one day we can all live on this planet in safety.

I don’t have to see it..to believe it.

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I have never seen the plains of Africa…I have never seen wind…I have never seen the bottom of the ocean or the molten lava of a volcano, but I know they exist. For me, God and Heaven is just as real.

I watched the movie “Heaven is for real.” tonight, and I was surprised that in the face of what they were being told, in what they professed to believe, they still doubted. I guess, in a lot of ways it’s human nature, even the Apostles needed reminded to have FAITH.

“Peter is also the Apostle who asked Jesus to let him walk on water. One night, the disciples were out in a boat after Jesus sent them ahead while he went to pray by himself. Later that night, the disciples saw Jesus walking on the lake. They thought he was a ghost and became terrified. Jesus said to them, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” (Matthew 14:27). Peter replied to the Lord, “If it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” (Verse 28). Jesus told him to come. Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water towards Jesus. Then Peter saw the wind and the waves and became afraid. Starting to sink, Peter cried out, Lord! Save me!” (Verse 30). Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt me?” (Verse 31).”

More: http://www.essortment.com/saint-peter-apostle-43941.html#ixzz39CewLP8G

You see, we are fearful of what we don’t fully understand, of what we can’t see or touch or feel….but, God gives us FAITH to take that fear away. I have lost so many that were dear to me, a mother, father, sister…as well as aunts, uncles, friends, cousins. Yes, I grieve the loss…yes, I miss them, terribly. However, I wouldn’t wish them back to this imperfect world for even a minute if I could. They are in Heaven, with no pain, no sorrow and a choir of angels to sing with…how selfish would I be to want them back here.

I know that because Jesus died for my sins, I will be there too one day, singing with angels, speaking with Jesus, walking on golden roads. I will see the light and love that glows from God our Father…and I will fall to my knees in praise, in love, in happiness.

Just because you don’t see it…doesn’t mean it isn’t real. The Devil wants you to believe that it isn’t, because then you have no hope…no boundaries. Life is not without adversity, not without pain…even Jesus had pain on the cross. We have to remember that God is GOOD. He knew you before you were a twinkle in your father’s eye, he knows every hair on your head, and his love for you was so immense that He gave his only son to die for you…for me…so that one day, we can experience the joys of Heaven.

In this day and age, being a Christian isn’t “popular”. Christians are being persecuted all over the world for their beliefs. There are those that will cry that the Bible is just “stories” and “myths”. However, I believe. My faith is unshaken. My hope, my joy, my love, every part of me that is good, I owe to the grace of God. This world will try to bring hate, misery, and lies into your life, but if you know the secret then you can stand up to whatever comes your way. The secret…God is good. God loves you, and Heaven is for real.

Rheumatoid Disease is a blessing!

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I have Rheumatoid Disease…aka Rheumatoid Arthritis.  However, that’s a misnomer, because unlike regular Osteoarthritis, RA doesn’t JUST affect your joints, it’s an autoimmune disease that can affect your entire body, especially your heart.  It is a crippling disease that slowly deforms your joints. Painfully forcing them into new positions.  So, now that you know what it is…I’ll tell you about my journey.  Yes, you will probably be bored to tears, but my blog…my rules ;)

In the late summer of 2013 I went to bed…perfectly normal…and I woke up barely able to walk and with hands that were so swollen I couldn’t make a fist or grip a glass.  My first thought was “WHAT THE HELL?!”  I was in a lot of pain, the pain in my hands felt like I’d laid them on the ground and let a truck drive over them.  My feet, well…it was like walking with 2 painful balls on the soles of my feet.  The pain was so intense, I literally tried hobbling on the sides of my feet when I had to move. 

I didn’t know what the heck was going on, but I started rationalizing that I’d ate Chinese food and probably added too much soy sauce and the sodium was why my hands were so swollen (although this didn’t explain the horrid pain, I was grasping at straws).  My feet, I assumed I had walked too much and had given myself stone bruises…on the bottoms of both feet…because, I’m just that talented.  Anyhow, I assumed that I’d whine and hobble around for a few days and be fine.

It lasted THREE MONTHS.  Seriously.  I got an apt after about two weeks to see my primary doctor and he looked at my hands and said it looked like RA to him.  He ordered lab work and set me up with a Rheumatologist.  It took 3 months to get that appointment.  So, my labs came back….and nothing was strongly positive, but everything was elevated just a bit. My RA Factor was negative.  I figured that was that…I didn’t have RA and we’d look into some other cause.  My doctor then burst my bubble by telling me that 30-40% of patients with RA are “sero-negative” which means the lab work is negative, but all the signs and symptoms are there. 

While waiting to see the Rheumatologist, I started thinking about this…wondering how long I’d had it.  About a month before this all happened, I’d had an issue with my left shoulder/arm.  I woke up, in so much pain I thought I was having a heart attack! My blood pressure was up, and I don’t have high blood pressure…and I just felt that there has to be something terribly wrong, if it wasn’t a heart attack then I’d somehow dislocated my shoulder in my sleep, it was that bad.  Off to the ER I went, and after a ridiculous amount of money spent, they told me my heart was fine, and they didn’t know why my shoulder/arm was bothering me, they discharged me with a prescription for blood pressure medicine….which I have never taken, because I don’t have high blood pressure.  My blood pressure was high in response to the pain in my shoulder.  Needless to say, I was frustrated.  Then I thought back farther….

About 2 years prior to this, I had seen my doctor and he’d done a CRP test on me (C-Reactive Protein).  This test is to see how much inflammation is in the body.  Mine was high…very high…so high, he was afraid I had colon cancer and sent me for a colonoscopy.  Which luckily came back normal.  He never investigated further as to why my CRP was high.  Sitting in the waiting room of the Rheumatologist, I started putting it all together.  The summer both my ankles swelled up and I could barely walk all summer.  The pneumonia out of no where that almost killed me.  The way my knees would suddenly swell and get stiff.  The unexplained pain in my shoulders that would sneak up on me and ruin days of my life at a time.  Now, my swollen hands that felt like they’d been crushed.  I saw the pattern. 

My appointment with my Rheumatologist was interesting.  He looked at my swollen hands, ordered more labs and said he’d start me on Methotrexate…which is low dose chemotherapy.  It’s suppose to knock out my immune system to it can’t attack my joints.  I refused.  No, I’m not a glutton for punishment, but I wanted to start low….as low as possible, and see if I could control it with something less….scary.  He said he’d start me on Plaquenil (this is the medicine of choice for malaria).  He wrote the prescription, but told me  as he handed it to me that I’d be back for the methotrexate, because my hands were “very bad”.

I took the Plaquenil.  Over the course of 8 weeks my “flares” decreased…and then there was a window, where I felt normal.  I rejoiced!  I decided that the crazy doctors had no idea what they were talking about and that I didn’t have RA…after all the lab tests said everything was negative.  I stopped the Plaquenil. 

The thing about Plaquenil is it takes about 6 weeks to build up in your body to become effective, and it takes about half that to leave your body.  I was on a happy cloud of pain free bliss…for about 3 weeks.  Then, I started feeling so tired, I ran a low fever, and I started to hurt. My hands swelled, my ankles swelled, I was miserable.  Lesson learned, I took my Plaquenil.  He was right, I came back for the Methotrexate (he threw in prednisone for good measure too). I have Rheumatoid Disease.

However, I feel blessed.  It could be worse.  There are others that deal with things that are far worse.  I can look at this as a punishment or a blessing and I see it as a blessing.  Pain is a very motivating factor and there were things in my life that needed to change, without the pain of RA….I doubt, I’d have been motivated to take those steps, to make those changes. 

I know RA is scary, it’s painful, and it’s incurable.  I know that one day, I may be crippled by it…however, that day isn’t today.  Each day that I can move, I can type, I can walk, is a blessing and one that I will do my best to appreciate and enjoy.