Do I look like a grandma to you??

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When I decided to let my hair go grey, I had friends older than I am tell me that it would make me look “older”.  I had people that I didn’t know well, tell me that it was time to “touch up my roots.”  I had people that I loved tell me I was “letting myself go”.  Well, all that was very enlightening.  You see, those same people wouldn’t tell me that I’ve gained weight.  They wouldn’t comment on the fact that my breasts are getting saggy, or that my butt has gone flat….yet, they felt perfectly comfortable judging my hair, and assuming that my reason for going grey was because I had “given up”.

So, let me clear up a few things for you.  1. I have not given up…in fact, the only thing I’ve given up is being tied to a hair dyeing schedule.  2.  I am 43, dyeing my hair brown is not going to make me look 23, and neither will the grey in my hair make me look 63.  I am my age, and I’m proud of it.  3.  My hair is healthier than it’s been in a LONG time, it’s not dry, there are no split ends, it’s soft and shiny and those white hairs that used to laugh at my hair dye (knowing in 2 weeks they’d be peeking out again) are now shining like silver highlights in the sun.

This grey hair journey all began when it was time to dye my hair again…and I was wondering…what color would hide the grey the longest?  I looked back and forth and you know what I saw?  Blonde, Brown, Black and Red.  Well, my hair has been blonde, brown, black and red about a 1000x each. I wanted something different.  I wanted to see what nature had given me, something that I hadn’t seen since I was 13 years old.

Now, I am not a patient woman.  A patient woman would slowly grow her hair out.  Nope, I am a cut it all off woman, because for me, that was the quickest way to my goal.  I went in and told the stylist to give me a pixie, I think she was more nervous than I was…the first thing out of her mouth was, “But, your hair is so long!”….the next thing out of her mouth was, “You’ll hate your pixie in a week.”  After that particular comment, I didn’t mention that I was giving up dye too, or I’m pretty sure she’d have had a heart attack.

Her assumption was that this was a spur of the moment, fly by the seat of my pants decision.  She didn’t realize that this was something I’d thought about for a month before I made the appointment, I looked at pictures, I tried to visualize what I’d look like with grey hair ….would I look like Paula Deen with snow white hair, or would I be more salt n’ pepper?  I truly had no idea, and THAT is the fun of going grey.  As we get older, true surprises are less and less frequent, but the color of your natural hair IS a true surprise, because you never really get what you were expecting!

Anyhow, it’s been 8 months since I got my pixie.  I still love it, although my goal is to grow my hair long.  My sister said I’d look like a “witch”….I said, it was about time that my hair matched my personality (LOLOL!)  She apparently hadn’t seen the pictures of mature women with gorgeous, long, beautiful hair, so I made sure to pull them up on my phone and show her each and every one….until she finally relented and agreed that long grey hair could be beautiful.

While I was on this journey of discovery, you know what I found…we are a society that still equates grey hair with “grandma”, or that once you hit 50 you have to cut it all off, because older women shouldn’t have long hair….and if you have long, grey hair, well stop the presses, the world is going to an end!  If you don’t believe me, watch YouTube for a hot second.  It might come as a surprise to you to know that some women go grey in their 20’s.  That you don’t have to be “old” to have grey hair.  It will probably come as more of a shock to you to find out that a lot of men actually think grey hair is not only pretty, but sexy as well!  GASP!!!

It is 2016, can’t we embrace who we are?  Why do we have to conform to society with our hair, or our weight, or our clothing?  Why can’t we live the life that makes us happy?  When my last day comes, I hope the people that know me, will have more to say about me than “Well, did you see her hair, she really let herself go!”

So, to all my silver haired ladies, embrace what makes you different, embrace what makes you happy.  Nurture your authentic self in ANY way that makes YOU feel comfortable, vibrant, and complete. You don’t need anyone’s approval.

 

 

 

 

Where have all the good men gone?

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Maybe it’s just me, but I look around and I wonder…where have all the good men gone?  What happened to the days when MEN WERE MEN?  When they were breadwinners, warriors, and gentlemen?  What happened to the days of dating and not opening up a conversation with “you wanna see a pic of my dick?” What happened to wanting to be a man in the bedroom?  What happened to manners, and protectiveness?  The modern age has given us cell phones and laptops, but it’s also given us metro males.  I’m not liking the trade off.

I think society has caused this rift between the sexes….of what women want, and of what men think women want.  Yes, we want equal pay for equal work, but we also want you to hold the door open for us.  If you want to argue how women will jump down your throat if you hold open a door…then you’re probably a metro male, because a real man would just hold open the dang door.  A lot more women will appreciate it than possibly the one bitch that would complain.

You can agree with me, or not.  You can like this post or not.  You can be a dominant male or NOT….however, it won’t change my opinion.  Men are meant to be warriors, to be leaders of their families (it’s Biblical, and if you don’t like that, frankly my dear, I don’t give a dang).  Men are meant to be strong, to be protective, to be MEN.

If being a cuck is something you’re into, then more the power to you, I’m sure there is a woman out there for you….probably the one griping about guys holding doors open for her.  However, I AM NOT THAT WOMAN.

If you want a woman to be in control, well guess what…I’m tired of it.  It’s YOUR turn.

Products I love.. (for the ladies!)

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So, I thought I’d share this quick blog post about a few things I’ve found that work for me, and that I love and use.  Hope you find this helpful, because you know…all us hot chicks need to stick together!🙂

Rosehip Seed Oil…..oh how I love it, let me count the ways!!  It doesn’t break me out (jojoba, coconut, argon all broke me out), it moisturizes without making me greasy, it works to remove waterproof mascara like a dream, I use it on my lips too and it keeps them soft and chap free.  It’s cheap! I get mine at a health food store for about $7 but you can find it on Amazon too.  It’s great stuff, Google all the wonderfulness to see things I haven’t listed here!

Clarisonic…..yes, it’s a bit pricey (I put off getting it for 2 years!), but ask for it for Christmas, or Mother’s Day or just buy it your dang self, cause you’re worth it!! This has been the biggest game changer for me, in terms of breakouts.  I think it’s because it gets my skin REALLY clean, and I use a LOT of products on my skin, so it’s necessary to get them ALL off at the end of the day so my skincare can work better.  I know there are some knock off/other version brands out there, so any of them is better than a washcloth or your hands.  Try it and you’ll love it.

Aveeno Foaming Facewash….I have used it for YEARS.  It works great with my Clarisonic, and it does help keep my skin clear of break outs.  They have a cream version, but I’m not as big of a fan of it, it leaves a coating on my skin that I don’t care for, but it would work well for super dry skin.

Vaseline with Cocoa Butter….I have literally used this for 10+ years to remove waterproof mascara (I use it now, to get off anything the rosehip seed oil leaves behind).  I think this is why at 43 I have very few lines around my eyes.  I also dampen my skin then add a layer of vaseline when my skin is super dry, it DOES NOT clog my pores, and my Dermatologist told me she does this too!  I also massage it into my eyelashes to keep them long, soft and healthy. PS…if you don’t want to use Vaseline for whatever reason, feel free just to use the Rosehip seed oil.

Body Scrub….you could buy a tub, but I make my own and this is how…I buy a big ol’ container of Safflower oil at the grocery store, I don’t use Olive Oil, because it’s more expensive, and it has an olivey (is that a word?) smell to it.  The safflower oil is odorless, but contains all the same essential fats as EVOO to moisturize your skin….next, I throw in some plain ol’ white sugar.  See, nothing fancy so far.  Then I add a tablespoon or two of Hershey’s unsweetened cocoa powder.  Mix it together, adding oil until you get the consistency you want, I like mine a bit thick so it’s good and exfoliating.  Now, get in the shower and SCRUB SCRUB SCRUB. Not only does it smell like delicious chocolate, but the cocoa powder gives a bit of color to the scrub, so you can see if you miss any spots.  Once scrubbed, rinse off ( I use a bit of Ivory Body Wash on my hand just to get the brown cocoa color off) and voila, you will feel so soft and buttery that you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner!

Aussie 5 Min Hair Miracle….This stuff is the best.  I leave it on for 5 min when I have the time, or throw it on and rinse it out when I don’t…either way, I’m left with soft, silky that you’ll toss your hair around like you’re in a TV commercial.

Banish the Brass….if you are blonde, or silver/grey haired and you want something to seriously banish the brassy yellow tones.  L’oreal Professionals Silver Shine shampoo, you can find it on Amazon.  It is the darkest purples of any shampoo I have ever purchased and you only need the smallest amount, leave it on about 5 min once a week and there ya go, gorgeous NON brassy hair!  Also, if you find that you are getting a build up of the purple from this or any other purpled toned shampoo, Suaves Daily Clarifying shampoo will remove it, and it doesn’t strip my hair as badly as some other brands, plus it is SUPER CHEAP, so it’s worth trying because even if you don’t use purple shampoo, we all get product build up every now and then.

Teeth!   I know this one will either be your idea of awesome, or you’ll hate it.  However, in the morning I brush my teeth normally with toothpaste.  At night, I use a mixture of coconut oil/baking soda and a drop or 2 of peppermint oil.  Mix well, store in a container and brush your teeth with this mixture.  Just be sure to SPIT IN THE TRASH NOT IN YOUR SINK, because the coconut oil will clog your drain.  Trust me on this.  Now, what will happen is that your gums will get healthier, your teeth whiter.  I love it, and I will do it forever.  Your mileage my vary.  PS you can also try oil pulling, but it gags me to do it, so I don’t.

Okay, that’s a few of my favorite things.  If you want to know more, let me know and if you don’t….well, then I guess we’re done here.🙂

The title of Hero is never wanted…

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We often call people that rush into danger, that sacrifice their lives or their personal safety Heroes.  However, no one ever WANTS to be a Hero.  I have never heard someone that I would consider a Hero say, “I did it for the glory and to be called a Hero!”  In fact, so many times, they say that they just did what had to be done.  They just did their job.  They just did what anyone would do.  But, that isn’t true….

There is something inside every Hero that makes them different.  It makes them see the plight of their fellow man and understand that THEY are the ones called to help.  That THEY are there to protect.

A Hero doesn’t care if you are black, or white, brown, or green.  A Hero doesn’t care if you are young or old.  A Hero only knows that you need HELP, that you need THEM, and they will come, they will step out of the crowd, they will put on the uniform, they will stand between you and whatever it is that threatens to harm you, without concern for themselves or their personal safety.

In a world where lawlessness has become the new normal, I pray there will be enough Heroes to counter it….to step up and say NO MORE to those that wish to prey on the weak, and the innocent.  I pray they will continue to put on the uniform of our law enforcement and our military and stand ready to do battle with evil.  I pray they continue to hold the blue line, to defend freedom, to be Heroes.

In Dallas, evil thought it would win.  Hate thought it would triumph.  However, the Heroes stepped forward, as they always do.  They suffered loss, immeasurable loss, they were scared, they were hurt, but they held the line.  They didn’t falter.  Heroes died that day, and my heart breaks for their families, for those they left behind.

I can’t comfort you, as you deal with your loss.  I can’t hold you as you cry for your loved one, but I can tell you that because of the brave sacrifice of your loved one, the world is a bit safer.  They died as HEROES.

#PrayForDallas #ThinBlueLine #SupportOurMilitary #ThankYouForYourSacrifice

Why I pray for you…

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A while ago, I was on FB and I saw a prayer request for a child, of course I said a prayer. I believe that if someone requests a prayer, that if you are a Christian you should say a prayer for them.   However,  I decided to take it a step farther.

I began praying for the stressed out mother trying to wrangle her children into the car, I prayed for people that I passed by with disabilities, I prayed for anyone that I felt needed a prayer. They never knew, I didn’t tell them…I just kept on walking and sent a silent prayer up for God to bring them comfort, healing or whatever He knew they needed most.  I did it, because in this BIG world, too many people are too self involved to see the plight of others…and by doing this one little thing, I became more aware.  I began to SEE people, not just faceless forms walking by as I hurried about my day.

What I didn’t expect was the sense of gratitude and peace that it brought me.  As I began saying prayers for others, I realized more and more how blessed I am by God every day.  I began to feel a serenity in knowing that maybe I couldn’t relieve their stress, their pain, or their worry, but I know who can, and by saying a prayer to God for them, I was doing what I could at that moment to bring them comfort.

I wrote this post, not to pat myself on the back, but because sometimes we don’t think of the little things we can do to bring God into not only our life, but also into the life of others.  In church we have prayer requests, and of course I pray for my family and children, but it never really dawned on me to pray for people, just because my heart told me too.  So, I’m sharing this, so that maybe the next time you walk by someone and you see that they have the weight of the world on their shoulders, maybe you’ll say a prayer for them.  Maybe, you’ll start to see that spreading light, love and Jesus is what a world that is full of hate, anger, and crime needs.  Maybe, you’ll find, like I did, that the more you pray for others the more your heart expands with compassion and love for God, and for our fellow human beings.

Now, and it pains me to have to say this….if this blog posts gets any anti-Christian comments, I will delete them. I am not going to put that kind of hate and bigotry out into the world.

America…the land of the “free” stuff.

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America was built on the principal that with hard work ANYONE could achieve success.  It’s been proven time and time again, that people that are willing to work hard, can overcome great odds in America and become wealthy.  However, those same people are being persecuted by those that don’t want to do the work. They don’t want to get the education, they don’t want to work the hours, days and years it takes to become successful.  They want it handed to them, just like Obama phones.

I hear all the time about how these people want the 1% to be taxed at a higher rate to pay for all the “free” stuff that they feel entitled too (Sound familiar Bernie Sanders fans?).  That’s a GREAT IDEA, lets tax the hell out of the people that run the businesses that employ thousands upon thousands of people! (Note the sarcasm, trust me..that sentence was dripping with it.) As they are taxed at a higher rate, what do you think they will do?  They will leave. They will move their companies, to countries that have lower tax rates.  They will lay off workers to save money.  They will increase the price of goods and services to the consumer, to offset higher taxes and costs.

But, you’ll say, that the wealthy 1% has all the money locked up and they should be doing more “good” with it….like giving you a free education! Why should they?  If you want an education, apply for scholarships, grants, and get a student loan.  The harder you work for something, the more rewarding it is when you accomplish it.  Will you end up with debt, probably….but, the good thing is,  you can probably find a job with one of the top 1%’s companies, making a decent living, so you can pay off that debt.

Do you realize that if we taxed the top 1% at 100%….there would just be enough money to fund Medicare for 3 years.  THREE YEARS.  Hmmmm….so, what is your plan when the top 1% runs out of money?  Who will fund all those fabulous “free” things now?  Wait, I know who….EVERY TAXPAYER.  Not just the uber wealthy….no no no, it will be funded by tax increases on every working American.  Woohoooo for “free” stuff!!! (Yes, more sarcasm.)

On a side note…what if you were the 1%…would you want to be taxed at a much higher level than everyone else?  You worked hard, you got an education…you FINALLY were successful, and now you are taxed for a huge chunk of your money, to give “free” stuff to people that aren’t as motivated, hard working, or smart as you.  Sure, why not.  I mean, we’d all be chomping at the bit to share our paychecks with those sad, misfortunate people.  So, how about this…the next paycheck YOU get…take 90% of it, and donate it to a homeless shelter, now do that with EVERY paycheck.  Don’t you feel better? Isn’t it great giving away all your hard earned money?  I wonder how long it will be before you feel like you’re working for nothing, and that those “lazy bums” at the homeless shelter should be working too!

We are a compassionate country.  We have Medicare and Medicaid.  We have federally funded grants for college.  We have food banks, food stamps, rent subsidies and homeless shelters.  We try to take care of those that truly can’t take care of themselves, but there is no need to coddle those that CAN, and just want the easy, lazy path to success.  You might say that because of your race, gender, or ethnicity that you are at a disadvantage, that all the money is locked up by wealthy “old white men”.  Yet, Oprah Winfrey is both African American, and female and she is one of the wealthiest women in the world, and no one handed her ANYTHING. She was dirt poor and she made herself, no one gave her an Obama phone.

America is a great country, or at least it was.  Now, entitlement and political correctness is ruining us.  Like water on a foundation, eventually it crumbles.  America has long been the nation that everyone wants to come too, because opportunity abounds here.  There are so many stories about people coming here (LEGALLY) from other countries with $15 dollars in their pocket and a suitcase and they make something out of themselves, they become successful.  Not, because they were given “free” stuff, but because they worked hard.

So,  here is what you are REALLY entitled too….nothing.  Just because you were born, doesn’t mean the world owes you a damn thing.  We are all on this Earth together, we all came into it the same way..naked and screaming.  Our lives are what we make of them, from start to finish, our success or failure is OUR responsibility…no one else’s.  Your parents kept you safe and fed, not because you were “entitled” to it, but because they loved you. America loves you too, and it is giving you the freedom to achieve whatever dreams, goals, or aspirations you have, if you are willing to work for them.  But, you…and I are not ENTITLED to anything.  The sooner we ALL understand that, the better.

 

The war on women.

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So, there is supposedly a war on women because we have to pay for birth control and don’t make as much as men. That sucks for us, but that isn’t the war on women that I see…

I see a war on women in rape cultures, where the raped woman is always wrong and has somehow enticed the rapist. In India a woman and her boyfriend were attacked on public transit, he was brutally beaten and she was literally gang raped to death. At one point they pulled her intestines out of her rectum and then they were thrown alongside the road. That was on PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. The sex trade, where children and women are enslaved and raped, they are without hope or choice. Or girls that are raped, then accused of fornication and beaten, or killed as a way of their families keeping their “honor”. Let me be the first to tell you there is no HONOR is accusing a victim, or further abusing them. Rape is the most vile, disgusting act of cowardice…it requires a man to become nothing but an animal that preys upon the weak. Someone that can’t get sex through consent then takes it without consent.

I see a war on women in domestic violence. Men that feel because of their status, money, or ability to run with a ball that they are somehow entitled to slap, bunch, or beat a woman. The culture that believes that women are “bitches and hoes” and that it is perfectly acceptable to use physical violence against someone you profess to love. There is no excuse for a man to hit a woman..EVER. We are no match for you physically, our bone structure is thinner, our muscles smaller…we can not defend ourselves against an enraged man intent on doing us harm. Again, cowardice and a sense of entitlement is at the core…a feeling that she somehow deserved it for displeasing him. A man that hits a woman is NOT a man.

I see a war on women in kidnappings. I see it in genital mutilations. I see a war on women in abuse, humiliation, and violence. So, how do we stop this?

Men must stand up and be men. Don’t accept abuse of women as part of a culture, or lifestyle. Don’t condone a lack of respect by listening to music that promotes it. Don’t be apathetic when you hear another man call a woman a bitch, or commit any act of violence against her…speak up, stop it. You are men for a reason and it’s not to abuse women, it is to protect us. If men stop condoning or ignoring this behavior in other men, if there voices ring strong and true that this is NOT okay, the men among you that are abusive cowards will listen.

The brutality of the world we live in will only change if we all take steps to change it. The beheadings of innocents, the war on Christianity, the war on women, the perpetuation of all acts of violence will never stop as long as no one takes a stand. It will never stop as long as people will stand around and videotape a man beating a woman instead of intervening, which can be as simple as calling 911. We have become a world of people that expects someone else to do something, YOU do something. If we all speak up, if we all take a stand, if we all say no more, then maybe one day we can all live on this planet in safety.